Safety Net
by Gaidin
Summary: Alexis begins to feel the anxiety of leaving home for the first time.


"Safety Net"

Special Agent Richard Scarn, a.k.a "the Viper", glided sinuously across the empty room, taking cover behind the large black couch. All of his senses were on highest alert. He could even catch the scent of new leather from where he sat, crouched, ready to move again at a moments notice. He was going to have to utilize every trick he knew if he was going to come out of this alive.

Sure, he was the best there was at this job, it had been his life for over fifteen years after all, but his opponent in this deathly game was a close runner up. She was the spetznaz' most dangerous operative, even at so young an age, and was certainly not to be trifled with. If he was not cautious now it would cost him his life.

Somehow she had always managed to stay one step ahead of him, but not this time. Finally he had her trapped, he knew, yet often a cornered animal is the most dangerous. He would have to proceed with care. He checked the room once more. Though he thought he had her in his grasp at last, this would not be the first time she had surprised him. Caution is the better part of valor, after all. At least that's what his superiors kept telling him.

Quickly he dodged from cover to cover, keeping his head down and making his way past the bookcases to the bedroom door. Only a fool would take the direct route of assault against an opponent of this caliber. He scanned the interior of the bedroom thoroughly before entering, checking his corners. He quickly but cautiously looked for any possible hiding places or any traps that might have been set to deter or distract his approach.

"Clear." He whispered to himself as he completed his sweep.

Quietly he crossed the room to the second door. Unless he was wrong, and he was never wrong, behind this door he would finally come face to face with his most dangerous adversary. Slowly he cracked the door open just enough to peek through with one eye.

There she was. Standing in plain view behind the desk, her fiery red hair hanging over her eyes and obscuring her view of his position. He had a clear shot and she was blissfully unaware of his presence. The fulfilling feeling of victory washed over him as he raised his sidearm and took aim.

Suddenly he stopped, just short of taking the final shot. Something was wrong, he could feel it. Why was she just standing there, rather than in cover waiting for his advance? It must be some sort of trap, yet something still felt wrong. It was somehow out of place, the way she stood so still, not even watching the entrances or preparing for an attack. It all felt wrong, and his feelings had saved him from trouble more than once before.

Slowly he entered the room, gun still trained on her, ready to end it if she so much as moved a muscle. She remained perfectly still as he circled around in front of her, catching a glimpse of her face. It seemed slick and shiny, as if wet. Almost as if she had been... crying.

"Alexis, honey, what's wrong?" Castle asked, breaking character and hurrying to her side, lazer tag sidearm left abandoned on the desk.

"I found the replies for all my college applications." She replied. Her voice was soft and cracked; she must have been here longer than he realized. "I didn't realize there were so many."

"Honey, I was going to give them to you, I was, I just wanted to do it all at once when the time seemed right." He said, sighing. Even he knew he was doing a poor job of excusing himself. He had been so proud of her every time one of those letters had arrived, but there were bound to be a few rejections, and he wanted to spare her from them as much as he could. He could still remember the look on her face when she had gotten that fateful letter from Stanford. Empty, blank and ashen pale, much like it looked now. Seeing her like this made his chest ache. He only wanted to protect her, but somehow he managed to keep screwing it up.

"No, dad, it's fine. It's not that." Alexis said quickly, shaking her head. "It's just... I don't know. I guess this is the first time I realized how real it all was. When I applied to Stanford I was just excited about going to school with Ashley, but now... It's all just so new and different. What if I'm not ready?"

"What do you mean? Of course you are." Castle replied, wrapping his arms around her shoulders comfortingly. She looked so frightened and pleading he couldn't help but remember her as a little girl, begging him to look under her bed for monsters. She had grown up so fast, he would have missed it if he had stopped to blink. That was the real reason he had kept her reply letters to himself, he realized. He was trying to pretend to himself that she wasn't leaving and he wasn't going to lose her.

"Your grades were phenomenal. Any school should be glad to have you. I'm sure you were accepted into almost all of these." He told her proudly. She had done better than he ever had, that was sure. He could feel in his gut that she was headed for great things, and not just because he was her father, but that did nothing to lessen the bitterness of parting.

"That's not what I meant, dad." She said, sniffling into his blinking vest. She babbled trying to explain herself, lost in the comforting embrace she had always known, ever since she was a baby. Whenever she had needed him he had been there for her; her safety net whenever she felt like the world was falling away. How was she ever supposed to start a brand new chapter of her life so far away from him and everything else she had grown up with? The world was beginning to seem a much larger place than she had realized.

"What if I'm just not ready to grow up?" She asked, grabbing his shirtsleeves tightly in her balled up fists, as though she could wring answers out of the fabric itself. "It seems like barely yesterday I had years to decide what I wanted to do with my life, and what I wanted to become. Now suddenly I wake up and it's time to choose, but I don't know what to do because I didn't use the time I had because I thought it would last forever. I don't think I'm prepared for this." she babbled, her sentences fragmented by tearful hiccups.

"Oh, sweetie. Nobody ever is." Castle answered sympathetically. He could remember only too well how he had felt that first day of college, leaving the protection of home behind. It was one of the most thrilling and frightening times of his life, even compared to his time on the force with Beckett.

"Than what am I supposed to do?" Alexis demanded.

"The only thing you can do." Castle answered, holding her tighter against his body in a protective embrace. "Let life take you along at it's own pace, but be sure to make the best of it when you can, because trust me, when you reach my age you wake up everyday and wonder where all your time went. So just be sure not to waste a second of it." A brief image of Beckett flitted into his mind before he pushed it away. This was not the place nor the time for that. His daughter needed him right now.

Alexis smiled. A small smile, gone in an instant, but it had been there, and that was enough to tell him he was breaking through. He had always known just what to say when she was young, but as she had grown up he had stopped having all the answers. It was nice to finally know what to say again.

"I still feel like a little girl inside," She explained, "but suddenly here I am and I'm so old and I'm so scared. I just wonder what happened to all the time I had, you know?"

"Believe me, I do." Castle said, exhaling slowly. He knew far too well. The thought was brought back to his mind every time he or Beckett nearly died. Time was a precious thing, and he treasured every moment. Especially with Beckett, but doubly so with Alexis. There was no love stronger, as far as he was concerned, than a father's for his child. He knew in that moment, as he had in many before, that he would do anything in his power for her.

"What if I'm really not ready for this? Dad, I'm so scared. Maybe I'm still too much of a kid inside and won't be able to handle it. If I'm not mature enough for this yet-" She began, babbling until she was interrupted.

"Alexis, you're already more mature than I ever was." He replied soothingly. Those words had cut to his heart like ice. 'Dad, I'm so scared.' It brought out primal, protective instincts in him. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her shoulders. "I know how you feel. Like you're not trained or prepared for this, but believe me, you'll do fine. You've been an intelligent, capable adult since you were in fifth grade. Just be yourself and you'll get through it." He assured her.

"You promise?" Alexis asked, eyes pleading and lip still trembling.

"I promise." Castle answered smiling. "Just remember, no matter how far away you go, I'm always just a phone call away. Just because you're leaving the house doesn't mean I won't still be your safety net."

"Thanks dad." Alexis replied, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. For a few moments they merely stood there, wrapped in an embrace neither wished to break immediately, reminded of how soon they would be separated. Castle sighed, happy to just be holding his baby girl again. It always felt like they were drifting apart as she grew up, looking at colleges, meeting boys... It was nice to have just the two of them together again.

"Of course," He mused after a few moments, "you could just go to Columbia and live at home. Commuting is a viable option." he reminded her.

Alexis' tearstained face crinkled into a smile as she rolled her still wet eyes. Even now, when he had so few answers for her myriad of important questions, he could still make her smile. At least he still had that.

"You'd keep me around forever if you could, wouldn't you?" She asked. She said it jokingly, but to Castle's ears it almost sounded pleading as well. His eyes watered with pride and happiness, mingled with grief as he remembered all the time they had spent together, from the day he first held her, his heart melting as her tiny hands reached out for him and her innocent blue eyes took in the world for the first time, until now. He remembered every scraped knee, every shiny new toy he had been unable to resist buying her, the pride he had felt for every award she had ever received. He remembered it all, down to every horror movie marathon they had watched together.

"You're darn right I would." He answered, smiling and rubbing his hand on her back the same way he always had when she would come to him with tears in her eyes, looking for comfort or solace. He chuckled. "Instead I got stuck with Gram." He said.

Alexis laughed.

"Thanks dad." she said, squeezing him tightly before breaking their embrace and picking up her own sidearm, a roguish gleam in her still wet eyes.

*BEEP BEEP*

"Oh, you didn't." Castle said, looking down at his deactivated vest. "Damnit."

Alexis laughed maniacally as she bolted out the office door, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes.

Very well, thought Agent Scarn, she may have won the battle, but the war rages on. He leapt into action, circling around through the bedroom to begin his hunt.

~The End


End file.
